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Edition 28: Detestiny by Rob Francis

flag UKA giant egg is an unusual show prize. No more is thought about it until the scratching begins. Rob Francis lured us in with this bizarre tale of clowns. SY

When I saw the clown hatch from the egg, it all made sense. Of course they weren’t human. Who the hell would grow up and decide to become one of them? I can’t say that it all fit together—zoologically speaking—of course, but then I don’t know much about all that. There’s all sorts of weird shit out there, and when I won the big black shell at the showground I knew there would be some kind of trick to it. Who gives away a fifteen-kilo egg as a prize in a guess-the-jellybeans-in-the-jar game? Calling it a ‘fortune egg’ did nothing to further its appeal. I didn’t even want the bloody thing. The show hands had to push it to the car in a wheelbarrow.

So in the garage it went, covered with an old dust sheet. I would’ve forgotten all about it, but about a week later I went in to get some wax to buff my Mini Cooper. As soon as I got through the door I heard a loud tapping from the egg. Pulling back the sheet, I saw that it was already cracked. As I watched, a section of shell was pushed out by a meaty paw, and a pudgy white face thrust itself into the gap. Its lips and eyes were black, its ears red. It looked like an obscene baby.

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Edition 23: A Girl and Her Dog by Sarah Fallon

Cassie wakes up to find a puppy in place of her partner. This relationship just goes to show that not everything is better with a dog. A bit of strange fiction focusing on what can’t always be fixed. SY

When Cassie woke, she smiled at me in a way she hadn’t in a very long time.

“Hello,” she said in a condescending baby voice.

Even worse, she pulled me onto her lap and scratched me under the chin. I felt the full sensation of my form. My body was much smaller than it had been the night before and her hands running up and down my back let me know I was also much hairier. I looked down. I had paws, tiny yellow paws. I tried to look behind me, it was harder than expected and I ended up running in circles on the bed until I heard Cassie laughing. I had a tail, a tail that wagged when she looked so happy. It was strange, and I didn’t know why, but it appeared that I had turned into a dog

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