Edition 31: Death Clothes by Natalie Satakovski

Soulless and Mixie run a little business selling dead people’s clothes. A little more scary than scavenged… – SY


Hello and welcome to the personal blog of Soulless, the founder of deathclothes.com. Here, I’ll keep you posted with new releases, behind the scenes update and more! Hope you’ve had a great time on the official website so far. Stay tuned, kids…

The Beginnings

Posted on March 15 by Soulless

Back when I was a dowdy teenager I used to cop a lot of flak for the way I dressed. Nobody understood my attempts at self-expression. Somehow I managed to befriend two other outcasts, Mixie and Katie, and the three of us became great friends. That was until disaster struck.

The bullying was hard for all of us to deal with, but in particular, for Katie. She was a sensitive little soul, and she was the one with the most outrageous and creative flair. Eventually, it all just got too much for poor Katie, and she took her own life.

After she died, Mixie and I inherited her wardrobe of weird and wonderful clothing. We found that her clothes not only looked great on us, but imbued us with an all-new sense of confidence. We both went on to art school and after graduating, realised we could put our creativity to good use. We also learned that fashion doesn’t have to be about being snobby and putting others down. It should be about expressing your individuality and having fun!

We started the Death Clothes fashion line in memory of Katie. We love you, Katie. I bet you’re looking delectably dark in the afterlife!

Have you ever been bullied or laughed at? Have you ever felt like you didn’t quite fit in? The Death Clothes e-store is dedicated to you. Become a member and you’ll get exclusive sales offers and discount codes, sneak-peeks at upcoming items and more. Click Become a Member below to get the goods.

~~~

Death Clothes Launch- Opening sale!

Posted on March 16 by Soulless

Hello again, my lovelies. I bet you’re all excited about the opening sale which starts this Saturday. Today I’m going to showcase just some of the marvellous outfits that’ll be up for grabs, and let you in on some fascinating little facts about our goth-chic collection. Be sure to check the website for the full range of clothes, sizing and price list.

Burgundy Vest

This burgundy vest was the prized possession of one little old man’s wardrobe. His friends and loved-ones remember him in black or grey trousers, a neat shirt always immaculately presented, and the iconic red vest which became part of his image. He died in this vest peacefully while dozing on his veranda.

Spruce this number up with black velvet or give it character with some plaid.

$150

Mink Coat

Made from 100% pure mink fur, this stunning coat was owned not so long ago by a lady with a penchant for furs. Luckily for us, she departed in nothing but her finest.

Goes gorgeously with pencil skirts and silk slips.

$320

Glam Ball Gown

Here we have an extra special number. It was last worn in 1979 by a sweet-sixteen at her debutante ball. This one-of-a-kind evening dress was produced especially for the occasion by an esteemed local designer. Truly beautiful, its pearly-grey colour stands out among your run of the mill white deb dresses. The exquisite crimped fabric is adorned with satin straps, and the pencil thin pleats drop from the waist—very stylish!

As the story goes, our debutant was last seen with her date. She excused herself from the dance to go to the bathroom. It was a matter of hours before she was reported missing. A search of the premises ensued and she was eventually found in one of the locked cubicles, her mouth gaping and frothy and a blood-clotted needle in her arm.

(For sale soon, just needs some final alterations!)

~~~

FAQ

Posted on March 19 by Soulless

Hello all!

I’ve been receiving a lot of positive feedback, both here in the comments and in my personal email inbox. I’ve also been receiving a lot of queries about Death Clothes, so I’m posting an FAQ to answer them.

Can I get a refund?

Yes. You can get a refund on any item as long as your item hasn’t been damaged and you pay for the shipping fee. Make sure to check the descriptions and sizes carefully to avoid the need for this.

Has anyone really died in Death Clothes?

Yes. All items for sale on the website were worn by a human being at the time of their parting from this world.

Where do Death Clothes come from?

Death Clothes are sourced through legitimate and honest means, usually from families of the deceased.

Are Death Clothes cursed?

No. Definitely not. While spectacular and spooky, Death Clothes have no supernatural qualities. Most of the people who died in Death Clothes died from age or natural causes. That group makes up about 60% of the collection. The remainder of original owners died from freak accidents, not cosmic causes. I am confident that no customer of the Death Clothes store will experience hauntings or have any harm befall them. Not as a result of their purchase, at least.

~~~

Latest finds

Posted on March 21 by Mixie

Hi everyone, it’s Mixie here!

While Soul’s busy restoring our exciting new items, she’s asked me to introduce a couple of our latest finds. I’d also just like to say thanks to everyone for supporting our small business and your local arts.

Mid length tartan skirt

Just one of several items recovered from a hoarder’s house hours after her asphyxiation. What a lucky find! I do believe Soul’s had her eye on this one so get in quick.

$115

Rosemary’s Baby Nightie

This baby-blue nightie has full-length puffy sleeves and a sweet frill front. We affectionately call it Rosemary’s Baby Nightie cos it looks just like Mia Farrow’s PJs in our favourite Polanski classic!

$75

That’s it from me today, folks. Till next time…

~~~

Unsolved Mysteries

Posted on March 25 by Soulless

Hello everyone,

Today I greet you on a dour note. As you probably know, there have been rumours circulating the web that Death Clothes are haunted. Now, the last thing I want to do is call the anonymous author of this rumour a liar, but honestly guys, come on. Death Clothes haunted? I don’t think so.

Even if you do believe in ghosts (which I do not) what evidence is there to suggest that a ghost was responsible for the mirror crashing down on this person and causing thousands of tiny shards to slice up his face? It could have been that the mirror was poorly installed, or the plaster was old and crumbly. A mirror crashing down onto him in no way points to a haunting.

And even if you did believe that a ghost caused the mirror to fall off the wall, what evidence is there to suggest that it was connected to the pre-loved fedora he bought from my store? It could have been any stray ghost in the house. If this customer is so convinced that ghosts are real, he must be speaking from experience, meaning that he’d previously seen them floating around his premises.

So never fear, my purveyors of fine dark things! Death Clothes are perfectly safe to buy and to wear. Death Clothes are not haunted.

As part of my mission to show you all that Death Clothes are safe, below you’ll find a selfie of moi modelling a new number from the Death Clothes line. Email me now with the subject “Death Clothes Aren’t Haunted” and you’ll get 20% off your next purchase!

Mime Vintage 80s Neon Colour Dress

Here you see me in a chic yet playful party frock. With its long sleeves and pinched waist, it’s quirky, sexy and tasteful. It was discovered at a mysterious roadside crash in which the driver had vanished without a trace, leaving a seat full of blood and a trunk’s worth of clothes sprawling on the frosted grass.

$135

Thanks for reading!

Soul

~~~

Scary Selfies

Posted on March 29 by Soulless

Hi everyone,

I’m sure many of you have heard the rumours and read the gossip online claiming that if you look closely at the photo I posted last week, you can see a ghost. Let me just start by saying how silly that all is. Ghosts do not exist! As for the aberration in the photo—that could have been the reflection of someone walking past my bedroom door, or maybe it was a trick of the light. But a ghost? Pah. I see right through you.

Since these rumours started, there has been a serious decline in sales, and a serious increase in negative energy (not the ethereal type!) surrounding the deathclothes.com. It’s becoming clear to both Mixie and I that we’re being, well, trolled. There are some jealous haters out there who are trying to attack our store with furphies and ghost stories. I don’t know why anyone would try to do this when our clothes are nothing more than gorgeous vintage items beautifully restored by two honest and hardworking artists.

Mixie and I have invested thousands of our own dollars, not to mention our hearts and souls, into this project and we’re not letting a few meanies out there tear it down. These are the same people that pointed and laughed at us when we were in high school. These are the same people responsible for Katie’s death. And these are the same people that led you, dear reader, to a countercultural fashion scene in the first place! Don’t let the bullies win. This is a personal appeal from your ever-grateful Soulless, whose rent is due at the end of the month.

~~~

Gallery Opening

Posted on April 1 by Soulless

Hey everyone,

While Mixie and I are labouring away, hunting high and low for those sinister items to make you glow, sales are still suffering. In fact, no one’s made a purchase since last week. I guess people are still a little uncomfortable about the whole ghost thing. Instead of rolling my eyes at the rumours, I’ve decided to put on a gallery party/opening show. I’ll be showcasing some of the very best from the Death Clothes collection. Also, as further testament to the safety and not-hauntedness of Death Clothes, Mixie and I will be modelling them all night!

Free cheese and wine, anyone?

~~~

Wardrobe malfunction

Posted on April 5 by Soulless

I know, I know. I promised you all I’d be at the opening show, but you are not going to believe what happened. As soon as I explain, I’m sure you’ll understand. But I need you to hear me out, okay? Here goes.

I was dressed in the Glam Ball Gown (which by the way, has become my absolute favourite!) and on my way to the gallery when I must have snagged some unwanted attention. I was taking a back route into town through the park, when I felt a presence behind me. When I turned around, I saw the figure of a man leap quickly behind a tree. It would have been comical if it wasn’t so scary. Realising I was alone, my instincts just screamed RUN. I turned and bolted.

I ran so fast that I burst out onto the road, right into the path of a moving vehicle.

The woman in the car was extremely sorry, even though it wasn’t her fault. She drove me to the hospital immediately, which was sweet of her because I seriously do not have the funds for an ambulance bill right now! Luckily, there wasn’t any blood but I was severely concussed and wasn’t released until morning.

Needless to say, the opening show didn’t go well. With the official curator mysteriously absent, we didn’t make a single sale. That was despite all the beautiful ghost-free items up for grabs. Totally unfair. I mean, it was a freak accident, not a haunting! I was stalked by a psycholoser! Besides, who goes out stalking girls in a tuxedo anyway? I’m all for freedom of expression, but seriously, conspicuous much? I guess it’ll make him easier to catch.

Mixie didn’t take well to being left alone at the gallery. Although she was worried for my safety and glad I was okay, she was also disturbed by all the people accosting her with ghost stories and allegations of hauntings. There was the man covered in second-degree burns after his vintage tea cosy caught fire, and the woman whose husband had hung himself after purchasing the Japanese salary man shirt. Mixie suggested we close shop just until all the craziness died down, but I told her we couldn’t do that, not with all our debts to repay. The ghost stories are coming from trolls who are trying to scare us, they’ll go away eventually.

Now don’t you all go calling the ghostbusters just yet. From now on I’m going to dedicate myself to proving that Death Clothes are harmless. I’ll be wearing items from my collection 24/7, snapping selfies, tweeting updates, instagramming and hitting the forums hard. I’ll prove to you that Death Clothes aren’t haunted.

Soul

~~~

Hashtag Help Mixie!

Posted on April 11 by Soulless

Business is still in decline, shop and life expenses are accumulating every day, and my credit card is just about maxed out. To top it all off, Mixie had a freak out and is now taking time off. This leaves me buried under, well, a pile of Death Clothes.

I had invited Mix over on Tuesday to help sort through some recently acquired Death Clothes. I heard the gate chime as she was coming up to the house, and so I started towards the door to greet her. She must have been edgy that morning, because as soon as she opened the door and saw me coming down the hall, she screamed. Never in my life have I seen a person so scared. Her shriek was loud enough to scare the dead back to hell. Then she ran away.

We spoke on the phone later. She explained that she’d seen an emaciated and track-marked ghost wearing the 70s debutante gown. I told her that I had been wearing that dress, and that despite the fact I’ve been losing weight, I’m still looking perfectly healthy. In the end, we decided that the rumours had been getting to her. How else could you explain the terrifying hallucination?

Mixie again insisted that we shut down Death Clothes. This time, I got mad. I told her we are not quitting. Nor are we giving in to the kind of pressure that made Katie take her own life. I told Mixie to take a bit of time off and start work again as soon as she is feeling better.

To everyone out there reading this, be sure to send Mixie your love and support. She needs all the virtual cuddles she can get.

Get well soon, Mix!

~~~

An Open Letter to Soulless

Posted on April 12 by Mixie

My dear Soul,

You’ve been my best friend since we were in high school. We’ve shared beautiful, strange and even terrifying moments together, from Katie’s death to the launch of our own fashion line. Yet now I think it is time we parted ways.

The rumours persist. There was that account of someone getting strangled by their cravat, and just the other day a woman nearly died from a strain of TB that hasn’t existed since the cold war. I’m not saying that I believe in these hauntings. All I’m saying is…I don’t know what to believe.

You’ve been so hard to talk to lately; aloof and headstrong. While these are some of the traits I admire most about you, they’re now wedged between us. This is why I’ve decided that the only way I could get through to you was through a public forum: this blog.

This is my official notice of resignation from the Death Clothes project.

Good luck, Soul.

Love always,

Mixie

~~~

No More Nice Girl

Posted on April 13 by Soulless

Alright you haters out there, you’ve met your match. No longer am I hiding behind a glossy veneer. No longer am I the meek artist-outsider ripe for the intimidating. You think you can spread rumours about my business and run me to the ground? You think you can turn my best friend against me and that I’m just going to take it? You have got another thing coming…

And Mixie, how could you? After everything we’ve been through! After Katie’s death I thought we were like sisters. Just the two of us contra mundum. No one could have thought we’d make it in this world. Maybe they were right…about one of us.

And to the rest of you, if you want to play childish games, I can play too. You want me to fess up? Fine, I’ll tell you the truth. Okay, I admit it, Ghosts. Are. Real. I knew it all along. I discovered this awe-inspiring fact the day I inherited Katie’s wardrobe. I never told Mixie, but Katie’s spirit has been my guardian angel ever since. I’ve spent hours cleaning putrefaction out of fabrics, and I’ve bleached my hands raw nuking stubborn blood stains away. And you know what? I love it. I love knowing the torchlight tales of my childhood are true. I love knowing that each preserved item conserves the existence of another ghost. I don’t care if wraiths, spectres and apparitions are haunting my clientele, I’m just thrilled that they exist!

Want to know if ghosts truly exist? Want to know if the rumours are true? I mean, who believes what they read on the internet anyway? It’s just another urban legend, right? It’s all just make-believe…or is it? Wanna find out? Enter at your own peril…

Death Clothes—The Official Website

All items half-price.

~~~

Closing Down Sale

Posted on May 10 by Soulless

It has been a while, hasn’t it? Like the little horror junkies you are, I bet you’re well up to speed on what happened. But you’re still gagging for the full story, aren’t you?

It worked. I can’t believe it worked. I sold everything. Even at half price the massive demand on the store saw sales skyrocket, and with Mixie gone there was only one of us to reap the cash! It was a box office smash. It was Veronica taking down the Heathers. It was Edward Scissorhands returning to his castle. And it was all me, bitches.

So it was a Sunday night when the e-store sold out. All but one item, my favourite little Glam Ball Gown. I put it on, admired myself in the mirror, and poured myself a glass of wine while sitting in front of my computer screen watching my Paypal balance go up and up. All thanks to the little titbit I made up about ghosts being real. Suckers.

In the days that followed, I busily packed all the shipments, politely reminding my patronage that there were no refunds this time, all the while wearing my icy-white glam ball gown (which I am still wearing in as I write this). I shipped the last item off and that was that.

In the aftermath, I continued hearing all the stupid stories about people being gruesomely maimed and otherwise injured after coming into contact with Death Clothes. It’s silly really, how gullible people are. It’s like their beliefs in superstitious hokey makes it true for them. It’s self-sabotage, like constantly telling yourself you’re going to fail and then failing. But I don’t hold those beliefs, and that’s why nothing has happened to me.

Actually, truth be told, something did happen to me. But it was worldly, all too worldly, and not supernatural. Last week, I saw the guy in the tux again.

I get it now. The debutante in her white dress, the date in the tuxedo. You trolls are really clever, aren’t you? Shame on me for not picking up on that before. But listen, I’ve told the police about you and they’ll be here in a flash if you try anything.

Oh look, the gate just chimed and someone’s coming up to the house right now. Is that the cops come to tell me they’ve apprehended their pervert? Mixie come to say sorry? Or the ghost of the debutante’s date, come to claim one last kiss? Ooh, I’m really scared.


Natalie Satakovski is a writer from Melbourne whose stories have appeared in the anthologies In Sunshine Bright and Darkness Deep and Selfies from The End of the World, as well as Mystery Weekly Magazine, Infernal Ink and Antipodean SF.

About Gerry Huntman

specfic writer, publisher, IT Consultant

Posted on June 12, 2017, in Edition and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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